Six Years... Already?

6 years ago....

I was at the end of what felt like a forever wait....to start a new forever with my very best friend.

I was only 19 years old...so close to 20 but so very far from being grown up.

I was scared but sure.

I was completely committed to this brave boy who had promised me the world 

and his own diligence in always becoming a better man...

I had promised him the same.

I was happier than I had ever been...but only a tip of how happy I would become

To be so completely blessed and loved, cared for and held together by the one who's still holding my hand today.

A lot has happened in  just six years and it's still just the tip of what's yet to come.

I can't imagine it any other way, although I couldn't have imagined it all then... hard as I tried

 only six years ago.

Better Words Than Mine

My heart feels so full on this Monday morning! Spring seems to have arrived after the long hard winter of my soul, and when I read on my friend Nicola's blog Which Name?,  that she would posting throughout April with song lyrics and photos that express her heart in better words than her own, I jumped at the chance to join her.

I have hardly known my own thoughts and feelings these past few winter months, like so many swirling snowflakes across a bleak sky. Suddenly in the last few days I have been blessed with the new inspirations and a renewed sense of joy and peace like the warm sun come to rest on me at last.

On Saturday night, Kev and I were given tickets to see Steven Curtis Chapman live in concert. Many of you may not know this artist,( I've been listening to his songs almost all my life),  but  you can become a fan anytime by checking him out here.

Heck yes, that's a banjo.

His music and his testimony are powerful and beautiful. We loved every bit of the show, and we were so excited when he perched on a stool, and pulled out his acoustic guitar to sing the song we chose as our first dance at our wedding almost 6 years ago.

He talked briefly before singing about how he wrote the song for his own bride of 27 years and how the words of this simple song now mean so much more than they did when he wrote them some 20 years ago. In his words, "I never knew what the promise of this song would mean, that our journey together would take us on amazing adventures and even the grave of our own beloved child". 

I looked over at Kev, and felt the weight of what is we are doing. We are building a home; a family; a life.

Already the journey has taken us in different directions than we thought and I can only take steps into the unknown everyday that often feel more like blind leaps into the darkness. All I know is that as we jump, we're holding hands, tighter than ever before.

I was blessed by the testimony and resilience of the Chapman family, I was inspired to live deliberately, faithfully and well and I was reminded why the partner I chose is the one I would still choose in a heartbeat.
So to start off a lyrical April, I'll give words to the song in my heart with the words of  our song:

I Will Be Here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up, and the sun does not appear,

I will be here.

If, in the dark, we lose sight of love, old my hand and have no fear, 

'cause I will be here.

I will be here when you feel like being quiet

When you need to speak your mind

I will listen

And I will be here

When the laughter turns to crying

Through the winning, losing and trying

We'll be together

I will be here

Tomorrow morning if you wake up, and the future is unclear

I will be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change 

Our lifetimes are made for years

So I will be here

I will be here; you can cry on my shoulder

When the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you and I will be here

To watch you grow in beauty 

and tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made

To you and to the One who gave you to me.

For just as sure as season as made for change, 

Our lifetimes are made for year

So I will be here

We'll be together

I will be here.

photo courtesy of our friend, Jared Mosher- 2008.

Plum Tuckered Out

 I'm beat but at least at the end of the day there are cookies.

....and somehow a lot of healing can come from cookies...

especially when they are enjoyed chewy and still-warm during twilight and the house is quiet....
(It's an absolute pig sty... but at least it's quiet.)

Today was one of those red-letter days that happen exactly when one's husband also needs to work a very late day and begins with two small children screaming in your ears as they kick each other and you, having climbed into your bed, nearly pushing you out of it before 7 a.m.

Oh yes, it was one of those...and perhaps it'll show up more on Friday when I have the perspective to laugh at all of it. Bad days usually turn into the best stories actually, but right now... I'm focusing on the cookies that just came out of the oven and the nightly ritual of posting here on this humble little blog space about something that truly makes me happy.

Today's happy comes in the form of sewing, and it's only fitting because it gives me the opportunity to play along with The Sewing Bee started by Julia from happiness comes.

It's a simple project this week to be sure, but part of what's getting me through this long week of Daddy working late, is the knowledge that Friday is a day off and that means it's a day off for ME!!!! and that day off is going to be spent picking up a new sewing machine and perhaps learning some new skills with Mama Jan!!!!!!!!

See, cookies... sewing machines... quiet house... things to look forward too.... and a project to share... it's like I can FEEL my soul reviving!!!!

Last week, I took my first baby steps on a sewing machine and made a straightforward blanket for Ava Grace. But what's cool about this blanket is that it was also my blanket when I was her age.

For posterity and history:

(yes, that's me, aren't I a button?)

This "Holly Hobby" bed spread was mine as a very little girl. (my sister and I had a matching set). And I pulled it out about 6 months ago when I found it packed away and we threw it on Ave's bed for a change-up. She immediately fell in love with it, which made this mother so very glad.

(The old bedroom...)

At some point after unpacking the bedspread after moving here, the whole bed skirt just kinda fell off and I figured it was time to re-purpose the whole thing rather than try to put all back together.

It spent a few weeks blocking out the light from her windows before we got curtains properly, and then it was tacked up to the wall rather ship shod before I decided, "let's turn the old girl into a blanket".

I re-purposed a little green fleece blanket Ava also already owned and cut the two pieces to fit each other. 

I sewed them right sides together, flipped the whole thing right side out like a giant pillow case, top stitched it closed,  then went around the whole perimeter again with a top stitch to finish it.

I plan on doing some hand quilting to the top of it, but for now it's keeping a very happy little girl very snug and warm during naps, bedtimes, morning cuddles and reading times,and quiet times.
I am so very happy to see it used and loved for another generation and maybe in this form it'll last even longer.

Now, I need to actually sew/make something for my little guy, it's about time Mama did a project for him, what do you think?

I have, after all, forgiven him by now for the beastly day we had today....

have a great day!

Happiness Is...

Happiness is a long weekend.

A long weekend spent....

With a visit from one so dear to your heart that her very presence is like opening a window

 Eating "not-bad" tuna sandwiches with "not bad" pickles...

A finished scarf

Happiness is...

Going for a cocoa/coffee date with your little girl

A trip to the Thrift store resulting in this many books:

An old favorite...

And a new.

Happiness is...

An evening heart to heart with a sister while making chocolate cake from scratch,

and eating that cake until Monday

The stillness of the house all to yourself

Time to think

Happiness is...

Cream  of Broccoli in the sunshine 

Story time with Opa

Hugs and the smell of Oma's perfume.

Happiness is another heart to heart with a new friend 

Echoing many of the same thoughts.

Babies in the playroom

Indian Food and more chocolate cake...

Not wanting the evening to end...

and having a sweet girl in red jammies call you "pretty"

Happiness is an extra day of rest and play

Sleeping in cuddles with your baby boy, 

oh so carelessly strewn across your pillow with that fuzzy hair

A trip to a petting zoo ...

enjoying the smell of the animals,

The softness of wool

The warmth of a pony's back

Happiness is...

Balloons in bright colors perfect for dancing with

A box of 64 crayola crayons and a new coloring book. 

Processing feelings while building an etch-a-sketch city

The optimism of a sundress and sandals

The optimism of glass of mango juice almost Half Full

Yes, happiness is in the right now of remembering

all the special bits and pieces of a Family Holiday, 

A weekend well lived.

How was your weekend?

The Friday Moment {s}

Moments from a well-lived week {with only one word} that I want to savor and hold onto 

as I head into the weekend.....inspired by Soule Mama

{Kiss}

{Feed}

{Share}

{Dance}

Happy (LONG) Weekending Everyone!

The Friday Moment.

A moment from the week I want to savor...inspired by Soule Mama.

"Some people call me the space cowboy...."

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

I feel that I have hit upon a universal truth, one of those things that sounds like a scripted line from a movie, where it comes out of your mouth and after you've said it, you think "Yeah, that IS how it is; I nailed it."
Tell me if you agree:

Moving into a new house is the best; moving out of an old one is the worst.

(to expound):

Barring some unforeseen nightmare in a new home, moving into a new house can be one of the most thrilling and exciting things.

But it's the leaving of the old house that can be so so hard, full of work and a little drudgery. 

If you are like me, it takes an awful lot to deter from the joy and excitement of finding new homes for things and making little corners of a new place feel like home. 

We moved into our last home that we built the very first DAY it was possibly liveable. The water was turned on the evening before we moved in and the railing was put around the gaping hole down to the basement where the stairs were going. We had to contend with uninstalled cupboards in the middle of the kitchen floor, rooms without doors or finished closets and a bathroom filled with extra tile, bags of grout sand, and a stand alone toilet....pretty. But I was still giddy to be setting up my nest in this construction  zone.


Our more recent move was MUCH easier, as we just showed up, unpacked, (did a little painting) and sat back and said, "we're here". It's been so much fun!
But there's still the old house to finish and get sold and that's a bit of dicey position to be in. God has a funny way of having things turn out, and as it would happen, the house is in sale limbo already (let's describe it as "betrothed") to someone very close to me. Honestly I am OVERJOYED to be finishing and sprucing the old girl up for my lovely "N." It makes all the work that went into this old place feel worth it, because it's going to someone (s) I love, to be home for them.
Talk about win-win.... except now we need to get to work.

(Also a Universal Truth):     All good things call for elbow grease.

So, we spent this last weekend with the "wee Winkelets" at their Oma and Opa's and Kevin and I worked on our own version of a DIY home show, finishing all the things on the house that never got done while we lived there.

(FINALLY the unfinished walls have baseboards.)

sigh

Anyway, I did so much "dapping" and caulking that my fingertips were worn to a shiny nub by Saturday night, and let me tell you there is no amount of 80's tunes or bags of Nibs than can make that job less tedious.

But at least I look wickedly hard-core with my gun here :)

Kevin and I have joked in the past that if we were any Sitcom family, we would be Tim and Jill Taylor from "Home Improvement"
A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y.  
(some of you are even reading this and thinking, "Oh my gosh, they SO are.")

Now, Kevin is not always as ill-fated as "Tim the Tool Man Taylor".  He's actually amazing with what he can figure out and fix around the house, but this weekend did include wolf-like noises made over a torn apart hardwood floor with boards that ended up being a fourteenth-of-a-flipping-inch too large, a saw that wouldn't work and a nail gun that went kaputs....

But in the end we triumphed over at little less than half the long list of things that need to be done and we only made a couple rude remarks to the Primer  and how much we hated it and how much we hate priming walls....
honestly, all that work and then the walls look waaaaaaaay worse than they did before! (arrrgh)

 We spent our Sunday recovering and eating the last of Oma's Christmas baking, holding a  baby niece, and eating broccoli in front of the t.v. to make up for all the junk food we consumed overnight on Friday.....

How was your weekend?

Cheers.

The Friday Moment

Inspired by Soule Mama a moment from the week I want to savor and keep as I head into the weekend.

Happy weekending everyone!

"Adventures in Sledding"- with guest blogger The Homemade Husband.

Here are some video diaries of Kevin and baby boy on the sledding hill behind our house. Oh how I laughed! I hope it makes you laugh too!

 

The Friday Moment.

As usual inspired by soule mama, a moment from the week to savor and head into the weekend with:

Yes, that`s a full bag of nutmeg he dumped on himself and the counter, the smell of which always makes me feel a little loopy. But that`s baking with babies....

Happy weekending everyone!

Ashley Versus the Blender

It was like an old western showdown...
On one end of the kitchen stood Me. Feet apart hands twitching at my sides, a steady glaring eye on my opponent.
On the kitchen counter staring me down was The Blender Kevin got for Christmas a couple years ago.

Who would break first? Who would be the victor? Who would be the sissy crying when her dreams of blended recipes were spilled or spread all over the floor....

I was really hoping this time it wouldn't be me....
But that blender is no sissy.

It all started yesterday .... with a Sunday morning that was THE OPPOSITE of the relaxing and enlightening experience that most of my Sunday mornings are. Kev had gone to a birthday party games night for my brother in law Andrew and because of the roads and such had decided to stay over night at my sister's place.
Fine by me, I was so worried about him driving home in the worst blizzard we've had since 1994.

So instead I woke up at 4am and at 5am and at 6:30 am with both of my kids back and forth crying over this and that until we just hauled all our cranky behinds out of our blankets and headed downstairs to the fireplace to think stormy, cranky, early morning thoughts and screech at each other when our feet ended up in each other's cushion space on the couch. (sounds lovely doesn't it? very Norman Rockwell and such....)

Finally after everything else in those unholy early hours that could possibly go wrong did, I decided I NEEDED a cup of coffee... BADLY.
Then I went to the cupboard and like Mother Hubbard found it bare... BARE BARE!!!!

No coffee left except those lovely beans Keri sent me! (Hurray!) Except I have no coffee grinder (Boo!)

But then I thought of the blender. It had crushed my candy canes for popcorn back in November and Grandma had seemingly set it up with not trouble at all... so, why not try that????


Now here belongs the disclaimer that appliances and myself do not always mix well. Actually any kind of technology or machinery and myself don't do well together. 
In plainest terms, Anything that requires some sort of skill or coordination to operate beyond the simple machines we learned about in grade 4 is often beyond me and results in disaster. (and sometimes even the simple machines are too much.)
I'm serious. It took me several unsuccessful attempts to use my bread maker before I chucked it in the back of the pantry for almost 2 years before I got brave enough to try it again. I once broke down and started crying when defeated by an electric can opener that I couldn't get to work in University (although that can opener had it out for me I swear.) and I asked for a sewing machine as a wedding gift and I STILL haven't started taking lessons on how to use it... I'm chicken.(that's almost SIX years folks.)....
You should've seen me when I started learning how to drive. ( which I only did at the age of 21 out of the sheer necessity of having to learn so I could drive myself to the hospital if need be in order to birth my baby).
"You may require.... more... than the standard 14 hours of learning time to get your licence."


That's what my instructor said to me after the first lesson.
I kid you not.


Anyways I digress....back to the blender. 
I pulled the evil thing out of the cupboard and proceeded to try every combination of ways that it's many parts could possibly fit together but everything rattled loosely and I pinched my finger VERY hard trying to secure the base.
Finally I just dumped some beans in there and threw the ON switch.

Well, wouldn't you know it, those beans were crushed....and then sent into orbit around my kitchen.... and when I got the jar off the top of the blades, the few grinds I had saved came falling out all over the counter tops and me....sobbing, hysterical, barely-sane me....who now had coffee dust in my sleepy eyes... now mixing with my tears in lovely brown streaks down my face.
"I hate you! " I muttered at the blender and it had the gaul to just sit there on the counter like a cat licking it's paws in total indifference.


Well today, NO MORE.
I was going to master that wanton beast or be killed in the process and my challenge today was Smoothies.

Smoothies: those delicious berry blends that hippies, health nuts and those who can afford booster juice love.
I wanted to love them too.
I wanted to whip out my subservient kitchen appliances and make fresh delicious smoothies for myself and my family... now is that too much to ask?

I gathered my ingredients. I used alot of peppy self talk and and I set the pieces of the blender out on the counter and just for good measure, gave them a pep talk too.

"OKAY look blender" I don't like you and you don't like me, but I've gotta find another way to get an extra couple of fruit servings into our diet and your gonna do it for me and your not gonna give me any trouble about it! RIGHT?... ( I almost added the "Yes mom?" that I say to my kids.)

I rolled up my sleeves, wiped my brow and figured those pieces out without any personal injury.
Glorious
I put in handfuls of this and that
A little honey
A little soy milk
and when I was done I said a little prayer and hit that switch.

It whirred.
It pulsed
It blended
And a smoothie was born.
I fed it to everyone in the house for lunch including the baby who ended up half purple but very happy.

I went to wash the pieces and disassemble them first.... I guess I was a little zealous in my "righty- tightening" cause now I couldn't get it apart, but I prevailed and in the dishwasher it went.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face....
Look, I'm even blogging about it now.

Maybe I'm a little too optimistic, maybe it's the sweetness of that smoothie, but I'm feeling good and I think I'll maybe call the library tomorrow and inquire as to when those sewing classes start up?

cheers.

The Friday Moment

It took me a minute of grumbling about stains on the couch YET AGAIN... when I suddenly noticed what was there....
 

I teared up.

And then washed the couch.

Happy Weekending Everyone!

The Kitchen Unveiled!

Wow, what a crazy week of painting it has been!

Kevin and I managed to repaint the ENTIRE kitchen in three days. THREE DAYS!
and we didn't even neglect our kids to do it!

We took everything in two shifts a day starting Monday night till Thursday night (I took Wednesday off for visiting my sister's new baby).We did one shift during naptimes and one during the evenings when the kids were asleep. Kevin did some extra painting here and there in the basement while I managed the monkeys and on Thursday morning he did the same for me so I could get the back of the wrap around done (boy was that a pain in the but).
By Friday morning Kevin was putting cupboard doors back on the bottom of the kitchen and trying to use wholesome language to express his frustration with the finicky nature of  drawer fronts and lazy susan hinges.

But it was all worthwhile,  for now I have my dream kitchen and it looks even better than I thought it would! It feels like a special treat to just be in there making tea or sweeping the floor and dang it,  if my vintage tea towels don't look amazing next to those cupboard doors in their soft creamy whiteness!!!!!!...

It's bliss I tell you, pure kitchen bliss. 

Now if only I were a better cook...

The Friday Moment

Inspired by soule mama here's a moment from the week without words to savor.

Oh yes, we live here now.

Happy Weekending Everyone!

A Christmas Recap

I'm sure everybody is ready to be done with Christmas.
I know I am.

I am one of those grinchy people who take down the Christmas tree ON BOXING DAY, and begin to look down my nose as I go down the street any time after new years at the people who still have decorations on the lawn.

BUT.... I've been a bit behind on some of the things I wanted to post around this season with moving and settling and some other personal things that have been going on in our hearts and home.

So for all of you who maybe wanted a peek into the way we did our Christmas business (there's no hiding it, this is really for my Aunties and Nanny especially who keep up with me through this blog)

Here's how 2010 went down:

Christmas Eve Pajamas.
Ava Grace's were from the bargain bin last year... Jackson's were from his dresser, re-wrapped without his knowledge. Perhaps he did not fully appreciate my frugal savvy, and he obviously didn't appreciate the fact that Santa and the glory of presents were coming in the morning, for he was sorely aggrieved to go to bed.

Here's the snack we left Santa. ... and Rudolph.

The creative gift wrapping prowess of my husband, who cleverly hid all sorts of  mundane objects in the various body parts of the dog. (I thought it looked like a large mouse... but apparently it's a dog. What breed, I couldn't begin to guess). Lastly there was a piece for my charm bracelet in the last of his four legs.

 The Sloppy Sock Stocking (on the left) I sewed up for Jackson on Christmas Eve at 10:00 p.m.....a little last minute elving.

 Opening the gifts from Ava Grace: Painted pine cones, work gloves for daddy, slipper socks for me, and a foam football for Jackson. She did so well with saving up her piggy bank money and "shopping" for everyone on her list.

 Jackson's fire truck from Santa. Boy was he jazzed about it. Although he was equally excited about the foam football and the box of colored blocks I scored at the Salvation Army for a dollar.

Ava also got this little Tea Set that I've been itching to gift to her since I bought it when I was pregnant with her.... FINALLY!!!!! old enough to appreciate and not break it! Tea parties here we come!
She also loved that it had windmills on her and pointed at them saying, "that's cause I'm a little dutch girl right mama?"
"Yes, you certainly are." I said, "but you're also British among other things and so you must learn to drink tea too."

Of course the most favored gift was the long awaited Princess Ariel doll that she had written to Santa for back on.... September 15. (I have the letter dated).
I think she hardly slept and at the crack of dawn she was up chirping at my bedside to "please oh please oh please go get my princess Ariel!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ah, Santa never disappoints. But he has given me a clever out for all the cartoon character schlock my kids want from the big box stores. The explanation in our house is that only Santa gives cartoon toys and only one a year for less than 20.00 (otherwise he doesn't know how to make them). This works for now, and I will ride that until I no longer can. In the meantime I had a great time sourcing out really beautiful second hand gifts and toys that they loved. Ava got a second hand pair of skates to round out her gifts and although there wasn't a huge haul under the tree I think we liked it better that way this year.
My sister started a tradition with her son of 3 gifts for Christmas cause that's how many the baby Jesus was given, and so I loosely followed that for my kids too. (they got toothbrushes, oranges, smarties socks and hair clips in their stockings). Something about the less felt like so much more. They played all day with the few things they were given and each gift was given with real thought and creativity.

It started last year that I tried to simplify our Christmas gifting to save money for a big trip with the Winkels to Hawaii and something about it felt so meaningful and creative (and ya, we saved a huge amount of money) that I wanted to keep going in the same tradition this year. I have to say once again I loved the less and I think this is something that we'll keep doing in the years to come.
Christmas presents are TONS of fun don't get me wrong, and I LOVE the blessings I get in all manner of gifts from my generous family and generous friends, but I think we liked this too.

Next year my goal is to have the only "new" big box store items be the Santa requests and to find creative, second hand or homemade sources for all our other gifts. In fact the more I think about it the more excited I get, I may just have to start early with planning for 2011.....

cheers.